Graduation

I graduated from San Francisco State University last Saturday. I needed to put a great big metaphoric exclamation point on the end of my university experience, so I walked with 2000 other graduates dressed head to toe in purple. I sat in the blazing sun listening to speech after boring speech on a jumbo-tron because the actual speaker was too far away from me to see. The stupid cap kept sliding off the back of my head and the "hood" all masters candidates wear continued to choke me, despite my heavy ring of keys I'd attached under my robes to hold it off my neck. The only one in my O and M class who decided to walk, I felt a little lonely surrounded by large groups of celebrating students from other departments. But at last I got to walk to the podium,  get my bright purple envelope (they send the actual diploma in the Fall) and shake the hand of a University chancellor. For those sixty seconds, I was buoyant; I could have flown above the heads of every single person crammed into the stadium on the wings of my bright purple robes.

I finally feel done.

I've spent the week catching up on Medusa work, but mostly I've been sitting quietly thinking about the day I got my Masters Degree. Now and then that feeling of completion fills my body and I have to stop what I'm doing and look around at the world. Nothing has really changed... except me. I reached my goal. I am free.

There's nothing else to prove. No other challenges on the horizon. At least not today.

My muse is eager to put all that drive and energy into creativity again, but for now, I want to rest. I want to plant my garden and clean up my yard; read a book; watch old movies; dance; play princess dominoes with my daughter; cook; sit in the sun with a glass of wine; kiss my husband.

I want to live.

Don't worry, Muse. I've never been able to resist you for long. And besides, didn't I just write you a full length play last month? Give me a break for a few weeks. I promise, Medusa's Muse will prosper and thrive and my own writing will flourish. You'll see. 

My muse didn't keep her promise...

... or rather, she forgot I have two tests. Here I am, studying for my very last exam, my Master's exam, the one I need to pass for my degree and to graduate from San Francisco State University, and my muse is whispering in my ear, "What do you want to publish next?"

"Stop it. Go away."

"What book will you publish first?"

"I said stop it."

"Do you really plan to try publishing fiction for a change?"

"Can't you see I'm trying to study?"

"That could be very interesting. And challenging..."

"I'm not listening."

"I like a good challenge. Y.A.? Adult fantasy? Not children's books, surely."

"I said I'm not listening."

"Yes... Y.A. Now there's an interesting market. But what will you publish to crack it?"

"Will you please...!" I shout.

"I'm interested in that manuscript your friend has been shopping around. It sounds like it has potential. You should call her."

Impossible! I turn back to my text book. "Cortical Visual Impairment is the leading cause of vision impairment in children..."

"And I wonder if that writer who's story is in the punk anthology is really working on a memoir. What a fascinating read that would be."

"... followed by Retinopathy of Prematurity, Optic Nerve Hypoplasia, Albinism, Optic Atrophy and refractive errors"

"Do you think Tama will ever have the time to finish her book? I hope so. I'd love to work with her. She's so funny."

"In adults, the leading causes of blindness are Macular Degeneration, Diabetic Retinopathy, and Cataract."

"We are going to have so much fun when you finish school."

I slam down my book. "Then maybe you should let me finish school by studying for this frickin exam!"

She is silent for a moment, staring at me, her snakes slowly winding themselves behind and away from her freezing gaze. Then she shrugs. "Of course. I'm simply reminding you how wonderful it will be when you are done."

"Thanks," I growl.

"And when you have a job, you'll finally have money to invest in Medusa's Muse."

I slowly pick up my text book and force myself to keep reading.

She smiles. "Yes, a little money invested in Medusa's Muse is just what you need. It's time to take it up a notch, really market those books of yours. Maybe even buy some t-shirts and other shwag to sell at events. People really love the logo, as they should."

"The macula has the highest concentration of cones. Cones allow us to see color and fine detail..."

"It's going to be a great year for Medusa's Muse. I can feel it in my bones!" She keeps talking as I try desperately to concentrate on eye diseases.

But I'd rather be talking to her about future projects and expansion and revising the budget and calling a creative team meeting to get those artistic ideas flowing and....

Damn it! She sucked me in!

Only one more month til I'm done with school!

My muse finally stopped nagging me about writing and has allowed me the time to focus on school and my last two exams. 

"You've got until April 1st, then you're doing Script Frenzy. No arguments." And with that, my muse pushed her aviator sunglasses over her eyes and disappeared to Thailand, where she's decided to study curry making. 

Without her constant moaning about the demise of my creativity, I've poured all my energy into finishing my internship (all done!) and studying for my last two exams (certification exam on Feb. 22nd and master's exam on March 18). Then I'm done with school. 

Of course, I haven't completely stopped thinking of Medusa's Muse. I've decided what my next publishing project should be and dreamed up ideas for marketing the books I've already published. I even got an idea for a whole new division of books. Not much longer and I'll be finished with school, then I can get back to writing and publishing. 

I cannot wait! 

Full Circle - "Traveling Blind" with Laura Fogg

The first book I published was called Traveling Blind: Life Lessons from Unlikely Teachers, written by my daughter's Orientation and Mobility Teacher, Laura Fogg. A memoir about her 30 years as a teacher of visually impaired children, Laura shares stories about many of her students and what each child taught her about life, joy, grief and hope. My own daughter's story is one of the chapters. I had watched her for 10 years working with my daughter, but publishing her book gave me a clear picture of what being a teacher of visually impaired people was like. Shortly after the book was released in November, 2007, I applied to the O and M program at San Francisco State.

Last week I started my internship with Laura, riding with her all over Mendocino County, teaching toddlers and high school students, both multiply disabled and able bodied, English and Spanish speaking. She also works with other teachers to help them understand a child's vision issues and parents to help them communicate their child's needs. She eats lunch in her car and rarely takes a break. Occasionally she works 10 hour days. But through it all, she seems joyful and tireless. Even when she's starting to feel the stress because everything happens at once, she has a smile on her face. 

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Life has come full circle. Queen Teen was born visually impaired. Laura has been her teacher for 12 years. Laura wrote a memoir. I published it. Her book inspired me to go to school. Laura is now my Master Teacher.

Hey, someone tell Oprah. I think our story would make an excellent feature for her magazine.

The other perk to this internship is I now get to work with my own daughter. It kind of feels like cheating taking Queen Teen on shopping trips and nature walks after school. Queen Teen is in heaven. She likes going on outings with Laura, but with Mom in tow, it's that much better.

And this is Laura's office

Anderson Valley in October

And this...

And here's one more shot of Laura Fogg's office, which is mine for the next five weeks...

The Village of Mendocino

No wonder she loves her job.

San Francisco State

My Muse and I strolled the grounds of San Francisco State University today. It was freezing cold with thick, gray fog hanging on the treetops. A perfect, almost summer day in San Fran.

This is where I got my BA in Drama, back in 199... a while ago. I was a wanna be actress turned director, crazy about the theater, especially Commedia and Molier. My plan was to get my degree and run off to New York City where I would dazzle the world with the adventurous, one woman plays I would write, and where I would be discovered by Johnny Depp and then live happily every after.

Funny how life takes drastic detours.

But the theater taught me a lot about writing, and directing taught me even more about publishing. I got an incredible education on how to manage people, transform disparate elements into a cohesive whole, keep all the various pieces organized, and do it all under a deadline. I discovered back then that I am skilled in seeing the "Big Picture," something I continually work with as I create books.

And it is through my publishing that I am back at my alma mater, this time in the Orientation Mobility Master's Program. Laura's book inspired me to go back to school and become a teacher myself.

I am now enrolled in the Summer Semester intensive. I'm taking 6 units (two classes) in 5 weeks. It could be crazy, but right now I'm enjoying this calm before the stress. I'm back in the city I love. I get to spend the entire week doing nothing but schoolwork, without the interruption of being a Mommy. I'll be able to concentrate and might be able to hear myself think for a change. And on the weekends I go home to my daughter and hubby. I know it sounds weird, but this going to school in San Fran is like a vacation for me.

Unfortunatley I will have zero time to write, and my blog posts may get sporadic. Good thing I finished the first draft of the anthology and sent it to Jane and Rick. Jane will do her editing voodoo and Rick will start inserting photos for the stories. When I'm done with school, we should have a book.

My Editor is Happy

Being told by your editor that you did an "excellent job with the revision" feels a lot like getting a dollar an hour raise in your paycheck. All those hours of toil and worry have been validated and rewarded. I haven't looked at the feedback yet because I'm still revelling in that job-well-done feeling. I don't want to see what work still needs to be done. Nope. Let me sit here and contemplate how wonderful it is that what I've done so far is good.

Besides, I'm spending every spare moment of my life in Finals Hell. Two take home, open book finals due on the same day. MANY hours later, I've finished final number one and am half way through final number two. My brain reached critical stress overload, so I took another look at the note from Jane and suddenly felt a lot better. My first semester of Grad School ends on Monday and I can then dive joyfully head first into my manuscript again. We are SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE. Just a bit more polish.

I forget to fully embrace these moments between projects when I can enjoy my accomplishment without rushing to the next. We should all give ourselves kudos for sticking in there and doing the work, no matter how many revisions the work may require. Keeping at it is the important part. Eventually, it will be ready.

Laura's Book Inspired Me to Become an Orientation and Mobility Specialist

I'm posting this cartoon in honor of me starting the Orientation and Mobility Program at San Francisco State University last night. I checked all the boxes as true except for the one about having my imagination crushed. Nope, not gonna happen. But being a professor's slave sounds cool.

What is Orientation and Mobility? Read the book I published, "Traveling Blind: Life Lessons from Unlikely Teachers," by Laura Fogg, for an in depth view of her training and the work itself. Helping to create her book and attending the CAOMS conference inspired me to go back to school and learn to do what Laura does. Of course I'll still keep Medusa's Muse alive while working, and this way, I'll have a job that pays well, is beneficial and helpful to others, and will balance out the hundreds of solitary hours I spend staring at computer screens and manuscripts.

Gotta go. I have a ton of homework to do!