Time and Deadlines and Focus

Time is indeed the enemy. It speeds up then slows down, grows claws, whispers sweet nothings, makes promises, purrs you into sleep, then pulls the rug out from under you, laughing when you fall flat on your ass. No one has been able to control this wild animal; just when you think you've managed it, time learns a new trick and then runs away with the circus.

The only thing you can hope for is to somehow make friends with this beast, and accept the truth that you'll never really master it. Once you accept that, you can finally relax. So what if you didn't get your entire to-do list finished in one day? The list was probably too long anyway.

For the past three years, I've been on a deadline. School is nothing but deadlines: exams, papers, internships and classes. And you've got to get it all done in a set period of time, or you just keep paying more and more money.

I'm good with deadlines, but not so good at managing time.

I realized this as I was stressing out over getting all my lesson notes for my students caught up before the start of Winter break, while also finishing a book proposal, editing the new Medusa manuscript, and worrying that I hadn't read as many books as I said I would on Goodreads. My daughter was sick, my husband working all the time, the house a mess, and then I suddenly got the wild idea that I should clear out my entire house before the end of the year.

Self imposed deadlines to drive me frickin insane. I'm good at those.

I don't usually make New Year's resolutions, but this year I've decided to start. My goal for 2012 is to let go of the deadlines and make peace with time. There is never enough time in one day (or lifetime, I fear) to achieve everything I dream of. I'm one of those people who thrives on constant challenge. Maybe thrive isn't the right word. I compulsively hunt for the next challenge, even if it creates chaos and stress. This year, I told myself "No new challenges." I have plenty right here already.

The biggest one is Medusa's Muse. It has really struggled while I've been in school, but luckily the press is alive. How much longer will depend on how much time, energy and cash I can give it. We've signed a new book which I'm really excited about, so I need to get this publishing company back in top shape. And I need to breath more marketing energy into our previous books to see how much of a bump in sales we can achieve. I've asked a friend to join the team and help me with marketing; a new perspective will be great.

The other challenge I have, besides my new job of course, is my own writing. I have a new play to finish and another one I'd like to write. So I've made an early morning appointment with myself, just like if I was going to an exercise class. My daughter catches the bus at 7 AM. Once she's gone, and while still in my PJ's, I'll go into my room with my coffee and write for one hour. I've started doing that this week and it's amazing how much better I feel. I'm no longer wondering when the hell I'll get a chance to write; I know every morning from 7 to 8 I'll be blissfully working on my play. I know it's only an hour a day, but I'm amazed how productive I can be in that brief time.

Time is tricky, though. I'm like a little kid chasing dandelion fluff sometimes; I am constantly getting sidetracked. I get on the internet to check my mail, and two hours later I've learned about the whales in San Francisco Bay, a good recipe for persimmon pie, who the newest Disney Princess will be, how many of my Facebook friends like Tazo tea, what the next full moon is called, how to refinish an antique chair, and why it hasn't rained in California all winter. I checked one email message and then got distracted as soon as I clicked on a link my friend sent me.

I am no longer allowing myself to look at the internet before 8 AM.

Someday I'll learn time management. Maybe. I do pretty good actually, when I take into account everything I have to juggle on a daily basis. But the stress gets too high when I focus only on the to-do list and forget to enjoy my life. Forget to write. Forget to give my press the energy it needs to thrive.

Focus. That's what I need. So my New Year's resolution is to gain some focus and only give energy to the things already in my life. No more looking for shiny things over the next hill.

But wait... what's gleaming at the top of that tall mountain? I've never been there before. Maybe if I check out some maps and start hiking a little just to get close enough to see what that shiny thing might be...

Is there a way to do it all?

Thank you Melinda and Corrie for leaving those great comments for my last blog post. You got me thinking about how we creative types juggle our families, jobs and writing. What is the secret for "doing it all?" Can a woman write a book, raise her children, work a full time job, and keep her sanity all at once? Back in October, 2008, I wrote a blog post about taming my to-do list. Today, I'll write about taming my life.

Growing up in the 1970's, we girls heard over and over that thanks to Women's Liberation, a woman could "do it all." Be a mother, have a professional career, a thriving sex life (according my mother's Cosmopolitan magazines which I secretly read), be creative, master aerobics and gourmet cooking, and look great doing it.

Yeah, right.

Maybe we can do it all, but I have yet to meet a woman who is, let alone happy doing it. But I obviously keep trying. I am the mother of a teen-aged girl with multiple disabilities, requiring extra paperwork and energy just to keep things organized so she gets all the support she needs to thrive. Plus, she's a teenager with all the typical angst, joy and worry. I'm also a full time graduate student which requires me to travel to San Francisco once a week for classes. When I'm not raising my daughter and studying, I publish books and manage my company. And then, if I've stayed supremely organized, I grab a few hours a week to work on my own writing. I've been managing this crazy schedule for over a year with some success, and now I have extra gray hair to show for it. People ask me how I do it all, to which I say, "I just do." Not very helpful, I know. This time, I'll do my best to write down some of the things I've learned that allow me to keep working so hard.

Doing it all while keeping a semblance of sanity

1) Read the book, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, by Stephen Covey, and follow his advice. His system of identifying what is Urgent, Important, and not Important helped me learn to prioritize successfully. It was after I read his book and then completed the accompanying workbook that I was able to successfully create a publishing company.

2) A lot can be accomplished in only 15 minutes. You don't have to wait for a free hour: grab a few minutes to work on a task. 15 minutes is enough time to load the washer, respond to a few emails, jot down notes for a story idea, edit a paragraph, write a few sentences, pay some bills, read a few pages of my textbook... not all at once of course. Those 15 minutes stack up throughout the day and before you know it you'll have several things crossed off your list.

3) Don't worry about perfection. I can do a lot, but I can't do it all perfectly. Sometimes "good enough" needs to be enough. Know when to let a task go and move on. If you spend all your time fretting over the details of one task, that single task will eat up your whole day. I keep all the Medusa's Muse paperwork up to date as much as possible, but that doesn't mean it's all in perfect order. As long as all the receipts are in one place and I keep an ongoing tally of sales, I'm ready for tax season. I could spend hours updating and tweaking my Excel files, but for what? My records are organized, but not exactly pretty. The same goes for my writing, or when I'm working on a manuscript for the press. I can spend (and have spent) hours revising a page, changing wording, adding and deleting sensory detail, fretting over every comma, until days have passed. It's important to create your best work, but it's also important to know when to stop. Let go and move on.

4) Appearances don't matter. My house is clean, but not tidy. I'm a stickler for a clean bathroom and kitchen, and since I'm allergic to dust I vacuum and dust regularly, but otherwise, I don't worry so much about the clutter (I'm writing this during a major de-cluttering project, so obviously I do have a clutter tolerance level). I haven't washed a window in two years and my yard is full of weeds. When I have time, I pull some of them and clean something that really needs it (the wall behind the garbage can sure needs it!), but for the most part, I don't worry about what the neighbors or my mother think. Am I really going to waste some of my precious time fretting over the fact that my car needs washing? When I have a spare 15 minutes, I'll wash the car. Otherwise, I let my neighbors gossip all they want.

5) Decide what's most important. Prioritizing is the key to getting things done. And those priorities can change from day to day. Is it more important today to update your blog, or edit your manuscript? Of course both are important, but which one takes precedence NOW. Do you need to organize all your receipts for H and R block, or balance your check book? Do you need to watch The Lord of the Rings, or clean out your closet? Sometimes, watching a movie is the priority.

6) Be nice to yourself. Occasionally you'll need to flop on the couch and zone out with a movie and a bowl of popcorn. This is important brain down-time. Do not beat yourself up with guilt for watching a movie; guilt will undermine the purpose of brain down-time. Tell yourself, "Right now I'm going to watch this movie and when it's over I'll return those phone calls." Then fully enjoy that movie.

7) However, procrastination is the enemy. When you need to get something done, do it. Don't sit on the couch and watch TV when there's an important task needing your attention. At the end of the day you'll feel guilty for not getting anything done and your to-do list will keep growing until you feel completely overwhelmed, which can create the urge for more procrastination. Do what needs doing.

8) Take care of your body. Don't allow yourself to sit at your desk and snack on cookies and drink coffee all day. Drink water. Avoid sugar. Go for a long walk. It's easy to skip exercise because you think you don't have time, but remember what I said about 15 minutes. If all you have is a short burst of time, then crank up the tunes and dance around your living room. Doing this will not only help your body feel good, but will shake the cobwebs out of your brain from staring at a computer screen too long. I find that the better I care for my body, the more she'll do for me.

9) Keep your sense of humor. If that goes, you're done for. You need to laugh at the chaos and at yourself now and then. When I've got myself in a tail-spin because I've decided that 6 things on my list are urgent but there's only time to get 4 tasks done, I laugh at myself for trying to be Wonder Woman. Instead of hyperventilating, I laugh loudly, which breaks through the stress and helps me see things clearly again. Laughter has carried me through some hard exams and a few very long nights.

10) But most of all, ask for help when you need it. I know it can feel like a personal failure when you get stuck and have to ask someone to help you, but it's the best thing you can do for yourself. There is no failure in trying your best and needing support. I ask for help all the time, from my writing group, my husband, my copy-editor Jane, the publisher's associations I belong to, my brother, my college professors, my therapist, people on the internet, and my real world friends. Without all of these people and their various expertise, I would be unable to do 1/4 of what I do. It is through their support that I am able to go to school, be a publisher, take care of my child, and keep writing.

That all being said, I've recently discovered one more important thing about doing it all: sometimes you simply can't. There are periods of time when you'll be forced to make some tough decisions because your life is too complicated. Despite your best efforts, it will be impossible to accomplish everything you're trying to do. Sacrifices will have to be made, and it will become extremely important to know where your priorities are. For me, I discovered that I can't publish any more books until I finish grad school. This was a hard decision because I love acquiring new manuscripts and working with authors. It's the whole reason I started the press. However, no matter how much I love the work, it is impossible to keep publishing right now. I'm not shutting down the press, I'm just not accepting any new books. Instead I'll focus on school, my child, and my own writing for a while.

My own writing. That could be fun.

What helps you stay creative while juggling all that you do? Any good ideas on keeping your sanity?

Three Sites to Keep us Writing.

I am writing this post from the student center at San Francisco State University, eating potato chips while waiting for class to start in an hour. Back to school for me, which means any personal writing time will be hard to come by.

I know I'm not alone. Finding time to be creative is hard for everyone. Between jobs, children, friends, daily life and housework, family obligations and sleep, it can feel impossible to let your muse out to play. Don't forget to spend time with her, though, or she'll be very, very unhappy. In fact, she might forget to show up the next time you beg for her help, deciding instead she needs to spend time with OTHER, more productive, writers.

To help us get motivated and find the time to write, here are a few handy sites.

The Productive Muse is a blog that helps freelancers stay focused and working. She offers tips and ideas for keeping the pen (or keyboard) moving as well as practical suggestions for managing the workload. Perfect for anyone who'd like to forge a freelance, creative career, or just earn a little money with their writing. Who wouldn't?

Sonia Simone is one of my favorite on-line writers and I am proud that she provided advice to new publishers in my book, What You Need to Know to Be a Pro. Her blog is a great place to find inspiration, and I especially love this post: The Complete Flakes Guide to Getting Things Done.

And when you really need help keeping your butt in the chair to write, check out this handy writing tool my friend and editor Jane Mackay showed me. Dr Wicked's Write or Die. Talk about writing prompts! I KNOW my Muse was involved in creating this thing. I dare any of you to try Kamikazi!

Those are just three of the thousands of tools and resources on the web that will keep our creative energy flowing within the limited time limits we cope with. I'm not giving you any more, though, because you should be WRITING, not reading blogs.

Except mine, of course.

Taming the Vicious To Do List

Oh personal assistant, where art though? My Muse is refusing to help me this time, so I'm sitting here wrestling with my To Do list alone. It feels like everything is urgent, important, dire if not done today, and demanding my undivided attention. Or else!

Of course that can't be true, so when I'm feeling like my to do list is chasing me around the house with bared fangs as I plead for mercy, I play The Sims. No, wait... that's escape. I must focus on this list and get it under control.

Time management is my biggest publishing challenge, even more than cash flow. There is simply not enough time in one day to get everything done. Managing the press, editing manuscripts, developing projects, blogging, fulfilling orders and keeping up with correspondence is a full days work. Plus I'm a mom, which has its own set of responsibilities. Oh yeah, and then laundry, which is NEVER done... but we won't go there right now.

To get my To Do list back on a leash, I refer to the book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey. You've probably heard the hype around his book, but I'm telling you, it is a sanity saver.

First, I just write everything down in one long list:

-Finish Revising Manuscript
-Finish First Draft of Play for D
- Read Jody's new manuscript
- Read new submission
- Edit chapter from V
- Revise full length play
- Third Quarter Receipts and Inventory
- Pay Royalties
- Finish Cover Designs
- Create Promotional Materials

The list keeps going but these are the highlights.

Next, I get out another, large piece of paper and break it into four areas. These areas are called

Urgent and Important
Urgent and Not Important
Not Urgent, but Important
Not Urgent and Not Important

Then I take some time to really evaluate each task. At first, everything will seem Urgent, but if you step back and think about what you need to do, you'll realize you probably have more time to get things done than you realized.

I figure out what is Urgent and Important by deciding what needs to be done TODAY, or within a few days. What has the biggest, looming deadline? Finishing the revision of my book so it can go to the copy editor by Monday is an urgent task that takes priority over everything else. The next Urgent task is helping the designer get the cover done this weekend. I put those two in the Urgent and Important box. Don't fill the box up with too many tasks or you're letting the To Do list off its leash again.

The next box is Important and Not Urgent. The play I'm writing for D can go there. Once the other two tasks in Urgent and Important are complete, I'll move D's play to Urgent status. I'll also add V's revisions and Jody's book to this Not Urgent box.

I have to look at that word "Important." Of course, everything is important and needs to be done, but perhaps some of those things can take less priority. As much as I love working on my full length play, it isn't Important right now. So I'll put this in the Not Important and Not Urgent box. I'll put Quarter Three bookkeeping in here as well. Of course this is important, but once the other "Important" tasks are done, I'll move both of these up into the Important box.

Just because you label something as Not Important or Not Urgent doesn't mean it stays there and never gets done. Everything gets moved around.

What about the new submission? That will have to wait in the Not Urgent and Not Important Box for now. Preparing the new promotion? I'd better add that to Not Urgent but Important.

As for the Not Important but Urgent Box, that's where I put things like laundry, groceries, vacuum floor, water plants and clean the fish tank.

After putting tasks in little boxes my To Do list doesn't seem so blood thirsty and I am able to focus on the task at hand. Which means I should stop blogging and get back to work revising my book.

For more excellent ideas on time management and achieving your life's purpose, read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I used to think it was a bunch of self-help hooey, too. But once I actually read the book and started using the exercises, I saw an immediate change in my life. For example, I started Medusa's Muse.