Sometimes DIY is no fun

We are so close to finishing the punk rock anthology. I keep saying that, but it's true. So very, very close. There's just one last minute essay being revised right now and three bios coming until the entire manuscript will be complete. We've been working on cover designs and choosing photographs and debating which font to use for the title. The date of the launch is looming and now I'm starting to worry we won't make it in time. Not from lack of effort, believe me. I've been pushing this book forward with every ounce of will power and fortitude for two years.

Unfortunately, I am powerless against the forces of time and money.

So is my muse.

"You worry too much," she says while cleaning something blue from one of her snake-strand's teeth.

"The scanner won't work so we can't finish the photos. I have no money to print books, and no time to finish this project. Our deadline is Halloween, but with no time or money, there is no way in hell we'll make it."

"So what?"

"What do you mean so what?"

My muse wipes her fingers delicately on a tissue. "So what if you don't make the deadline?"

"Then I let a lot of people down, especially the writers, many of who have been waiting for two years."

She tucks her snakes back into her hair wrap. "So? Do you really think they'll be so crushed they'll never write again?"

"I've been putting off book launch for a year. I'm tired of writing to them with excuses."

"Ah... so it's your pride that is stressing you out."

"Well yeah. A little. I want to be professional and constantly putting off a book's launch is not professional."

She laughs. "Terena, you're not a professional. You publish books out of your living room and will never make a profit. You are a mother and a graduate student, which means you are sleep deprived and broke. Face reality, sister. It's a wonder you get any books published."

I hate it when she's so blunt, especially when she's right.

"This is supposed to be fun, remember?" She smiles and winks.

Right. Fun. Publishing books is supposed to be fun.

This is supposed to be fun, god-damnit!